What is it about that sound? It's the worst sound there is. What does it mean? How do I fix whatever it is? Did I do something to cause this? Does he need me to hold him? Does he need me to change him?
Most times it only lasts a minute. At most it's lasted 4. Any amount pains me. Since I can only hold him twice a day (at feeding times), my options are pretty slim when it comes to consoling him. What I have found that works for Alex is a combination of the following: my voice, quiet and soothing, hand hugging is head, telling him that it's ok and that mommy is right here. Most times this seems to work. Thank goodness. I just know that if he wasn't in an isolet, I would pick him up when he cries. Perhaps it's better for him that I can't. He has to do some consoling for himself.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
NSCU 12.20.09
Today was a very emotional day. I think I cried on at least 7 different occasions today. This mother role runs deeper than any relationship I have ever known. It has affected me in ways that I never knew existed. Holding Alex calms me and it is what I look forward to every day.
This morning, Andy and I were at the hospital and while holding him (he was being fed through the ng tube). He started to spit up and was flayling his arms and head around. We didn't know what to do to help him. His monitor went off and then the nurse came and in suctioned his nose and mouth so that he could breathe. We were so worried because neither one of us knew what to do to help him. It scared the hell out of me. He was giving us signs that he was in trouble and we didn't do anything because we didn't know what to do to help him. Thank God it happened in the NSCU and while he was on the monitors. How many possible scenarios will there be as a parent in which I don't have control and don't know how to make things better? Will I, will we, be able to save him from any number of situations? It's an overwhelming thought.
I can't continue to think about this or talk about this. Too much and it messes with my head.
After going back to the hospital tonight and holding him, I feel renewed. I can do this. I've wanted to do this, be a mom, for as long as I can remember. Holding him has calmed my soul for another night. I wonder if all first time moms feel this way?
This morning, Andy and I were at the hospital and while holding him (he was being fed through the ng tube). He started to spit up and was flayling his arms and head around. We didn't know what to do to help him. His monitor went off and then the nurse came and in suctioned his nose and mouth so that he could breathe. We were so worried because neither one of us knew what to do to help him. It scared the hell out of me. He was giving us signs that he was in trouble and we didn't do anything because we didn't know what to do to help him. Thank God it happened in the NSCU and while he was on the monitors. How many possible scenarios will there be as a parent in which I don't have control and don't know how to make things better? Will I, will we, be able to save him from any number of situations? It's an overwhelming thought.
I can't continue to think about this or talk about this. Too much and it messes with my head.
After going back to the hospital tonight and holding him, I feel renewed. I can do this. I've wanted to do this, be a mom, for as long as I can remember. Holding him has calmed my soul for another night. I wonder if all first time moms feel this way?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
sleep deprivation and other musings
So, I'm really frickin tired all the time. Fortunately, it's for a really good cause and no matter how much I would LOVE to sleep for 5 hours in a row, I get up after 3, pump, wash the tubing, label the milk, put it in the refrigerator, record the date and time and then go back to sleep for 3 more. I'm his source of food. I do not want him to have to drink formula (I know it's not terrible, but it has a bunch of stuff he doesn't need and I want him to have the best). The best food you can provide a premie is your breast milk. It's my job to support him in every way possible. One of these ways is through the feeding of my milk.
Many of my mom friends have explained to me the selflessness of motherhood. I thought I understood, I didn't. I've only been a mother for 7 days (not counting the 208 days of pregnancy) and I already have some semblance of this selflessness my girlfriends spoke about.
So, Alex updates.
1. They have tripled his milk amount at each feeding (he is fed every 3 hours: 2am, 5am, 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm etc). He started off at 3 cc's (or mL) and now he's up to 9.7 (I'm working hard to get him the amount he needs every day).
2. He didn't have light therapy for his jaundice today (which means he has such low levels of jaundice that he doesn't need it). Jaundice is expected for almost all babies, regardless if they're premies or full term.
3. He was fed from a bottle for the first time this morning at his 8am feeding and did so well that he took all of the milk (continued success with the bottle and we will try breastfeeding sometime this week - I'm very excited and nervous at this prospect).
4. He has briefly experienced sleep apnea 5 times since his birth (yesterday and today). This is very common for premies. He doesn't experience it for very long (less than 30 seconds) and he generally comes out of it on his own (the nurse stimulates him by rubbing his back to get him breathing again). His apnea is considered more of a pause in breathing than an absolute stoppage of breathing. They give small doses of caffeine in the morning as a proactive attempt to stave off the apnea.
5. We have been experiencing a lot of skin-to-skin holding the last few days. This is my absolute favorite part of my day. It can only be done at the time of feeding. This is why I am really concerned about the time I can get up there. I ave to be there no later than 5 minutes before feeding to ensure a chance to old him skin-to skin (today I got to do it twice - this morning for 1 1/2 hours and tonight for 2 hours). Skin-to-skin holding aids in bonding, increases my milk supply if I pump immediately after and it is also to see if he can maintain his body temperature when he's outside of his temperature regulated isolet.When daddy holds he gets to enjoy the bonding aspect too. This morning grandpa Michael got to hold Alex (not skin-to-skin), all wrapped up in a blanket. Grandpa is an absolute natural. I want to say how much Andy and I truly appreciate grandpa making the trip down here. I wish he didn't have to leave so soon. We look forward to having you back here whenever you can make the trip. Andy held him all wrapped up tonight so I could pump bedsite.
6. He's right on target with his growth and weight. They want to see weight gain weekly going forward (30 more minutes buddy and I will do my best to add to your food supply).
7. He's super fidgety (no surprise if you know his poppa. I've also been known to not stay still for long too). I call him wiggly. He likes to kick his legs out from under his swaddle blanket. He's constantly stretching his arms out. He makes sucking gestures, smiles (I know it's not gas, so keep those comments to yourself please) and consistently opens his eyes when he hears mommy or daddy's voice.
Ok, so that's the update.
I must depart soon to get ready for this pump. Background info on getting ready (if you don't want to know all the details, stop reading now - if you have been reading all of the posts, the following information isn't any more detailed than the rest of it):
I microwave my ginger scented heat wrap (thank you, Pam Livengood) and wrap it around my breasts (warmth helps stimulate the milk).
I make a cup of Mother's Milk tea (thank you for the advice, Jaclyn) and drnk it.
I dry off the tubing for the pump.
I set up my slide show of Alex photos to watch while I pump.
I then pump for 15 minutes. You know the rest because I outlined it above in the first paragraph.
This is my current existence: Pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump. Ask for a ride to the hospital, hold him, pump, hand hold him, ask for a ride home from the hospital. Pump, eat, take prenatal vitamins, take pain medication, take antibiotics, work from my laptop, pump, eat, work some more. Go up to the hospital with Andy when he gets home from work. One of us holds him, pump, hand hold him and then go home. Pump eat, work some more, pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump sleep. Repeat.
I have never known a love like this before and I'm only 7 days in. I am truly blessed to have this child.
Happy holidays and God bless. The world is truly a better place for me and Andy since December 9th. God bless you Alex and sleep well. Mommy will be there in the morning.
Many of my mom friends have explained to me the selflessness of motherhood. I thought I understood, I didn't. I've only been a mother for 7 days (not counting the 208 days of pregnancy) and I already have some semblance of this selflessness my girlfriends spoke about.
So, Alex updates.
1. They have tripled his milk amount at each feeding (he is fed every 3 hours: 2am, 5am, 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm etc). He started off at 3 cc's (or mL) and now he's up to 9.7 (I'm working hard to get him the amount he needs every day).
2. He didn't have light therapy for his jaundice today (which means he has such low levels of jaundice that he doesn't need it). Jaundice is expected for almost all babies, regardless if they're premies or full term.
3. He was fed from a bottle for the first time this morning at his 8am feeding and did so well that he took all of the milk (continued success with the bottle and we will try breastfeeding sometime this week - I'm very excited and nervous at this prospect).
4. He has briefly experienced sleep apnea 5 times since his birth (yesterday and today). This is very common for premies. He doesn't experience it for very long (less than 30 seconds) and he generally comes out of it on his own (the nurse stimulates him by rubbing his back to get him breathing again). His apnea is considered more of a pause in breathing than an absolute stoppage of breathing. They give small doses of caffeine in the morning as a proactive attempt to stave off the apnea.
5. We have been experiencing a lot of skin-to-skin holding the last few days. This is my absolute favorite part of my day. It can only be done at the time of feeding. This is why I am really concerned about the time I can get up there. I ave to be there no later than 5 minutes before feeding to ensure a chance to old him skin-to skin (today I got to do it twice - this morning for 1 1/2 hours and tonight for 2 hours). Skin-to-skin holding aids in bonding, increases my milk supply if I pump immediately after and it is also to see if he can maintain his body temperature when he's outside of his temperature regulated isolet.When daddy holds he gets to enjoy the bonding aspect too. This morning grandpa Michael got to hold Alex (not skin-to-skin), all wrapped up in a blanket. Grandpa is an absolute natural. I want to say how much Andy and I truly appreciate grandpa making the trip down here. I wish he didn't have to leave so soon. We look forward to having you back here whenever you can make the trip. Andy held him all wrapped up tonight so I could pump bedsite.
6. He's right on target with his growth and weight. They want to see weight gain weekly going forward (30 more minutes buddy and I will do my best to add to your food supply).
7. He's super fidgety (no surprise if you know his poppa. I've also been known to not stay still for long too). I call him wiggly. He likes to kick his legs out from under his swaddle blanket. He's constantly stretching his arms out. He makes sucking gestures, smiles (I know it's not gas, so keep those comments to yourself please) and consistently opens his eyes when he hears mommy or daddy's voice.
Ok, so that's the update.
I must depart soon to get ready for this pump. Background info on getting ready (if you don't want to know all the details, stop reading now - if you have been reading all of the posts, the following information isn't any more detailed than the rest of it):
I microwave my ginger scented heat wrap (thank you, Pam Livengood) and wrap it around my breasts (warmth helps stimulate the milk).
I make a cup of Mother's Milk tea (thank you for the advice, Jaclyn) and drnk it.
I dry off the tubing for the pump.
I set up my slide show of Alex photos to watch while I pump.
I then pump for 15 minutes. You know the rest because I outlined it above in the first paragraph.
This is my current existence: Pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump. Ask for a ride to the hospital, hold him, pump, hand hold him, ask for a ride home from the hospital. Pump, eat, take prenatal vitamins, take pain medication, take antibiotics, work from my laptop, pump, eat, work some more. Go up to the hospital with Andy when he gets home from work. One of us holds him, pump, hand hold him and then go home. Pump eat, work some more, pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump sleep. Repeat.
I have never known a love like this before and I'm only 7 days in. I am truly blessed to have this child.
Happy holidays and God bless. The world is truly a better place for me and Andy since December 9th. God bless you Alex and sleep well. Mommy will be there in the morning.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
7am Feeding
I have a new found respect for moms who breastfeed. I have been pumping every 3 hours since I woke up this morning (well actually, Friday morning). I am already tired and it's only been 8 feedings. I imagine a lot of new moms get sick from the constant lack of sleep.
I'm worried about losing the milk because I need to sleep more than 2 hours and 45 minutes in a row to avoid getting sick which would make it so that I couldn't see my son. Which is worse, me not seeing him or him getting formula and me being dried up? Well, obvoiusly me being dried up is way worse because I'm his source of food. I am also his best source of food and this is especially true for preemie babies. But if I'm sick, he probably shouldn't take my milk either.
Wow, cyclical thought is wearing me out. I think I need to talk to a lactation specialist.
One little thought (not milk related) before I go back to sleep: he is the most preciouse thing I've ever known. I wish I could drive so I could stay in the NICU for hours at a time.
I have added photos of daddy first holding baby Alex and a few others. I can't wait to see him today.
I'm worried about losing the milk because I need to sleep more than 2 hours and 45 minutes in a row to avoid getting sick which would make it so that I couldn't see my son. Which is worse, me not seeing him or him getting formula and me being dried up? Well, obvoiusly me being dried up is way worse because I'm his source of food. I am also his best source of food and this is especially true for preemie babies. But if I'm sick, he probably shouldn't take my milk either.
Wow, cyclical thought is wearing me out. I think I need to talk to a lactation specialist.
One little thought (not milk related) before I go back to sleep: he is the most preciouse thing I've ever known. I wish I could drive so I could stay in the NICU for hours at a time.
I have added photos of daddy first holding baby Alex and a few others. I can't wait to see him today.
Friday, December 11, 2009
December 11, 2009
Just got off the phone with my insurance company and then my OB billing department. Not a walk in the park, but with Andy now in ja new job, we're in a much better place to pay all these bills. Alex won't be wearing Nike shoes, but he won't know the difference. He'll have tons of love from his family, friends and adopt-a uncles, aunts and grandparents.
Happy news: I got to hold him for the first time today. He is very small, but full of life. We did the skin-to-skin holding so that I would keep him warm. It is also supposed to help with stimulating breast milk for feedings. It felt completely surreal. I think he knows my voice. I already miss him when I'm in my bed and he's in his.
Ironic, I was so looking forward to getting out of here and going home. Now after 14 days, all I want to do is stay. He's only 2 floors below me and I can see him whenever I want. I am going home tomorrow afternoon and won't be able to drive for 2 weeks. With Andy at work from 8-4:30 daily, I will instead be trapped at home instead of trapped in my bed at the hospital. I will miss the excellent nursing care I received while here. I will miss the 3 meals a day at structured times. I will miss the snack cart lady. I will miss being visited by friends and family. I will miss my orange sherbert at any hour of the day. I will miss (and already do) listening to his heartbeat 3 times a day (the best thing about being put on hospital bedrest). I will miss being taken care of and being told to stay put and rest. I will miss the ability having a perfectly temperature controlled hospital room.
There are many things that I will not miss: lack of fresh air (I have only been outside 4 times in the last 2 weeks), I will not miss the sad view I have of the waiting room window and parking garage, I will not miss the lack of knocking and entering. I will not miss the attitude of the lady who drops off and picks up the meal menus. I will not miss the very uncomfortable beds (although I think I will miss the ability to raise and lower my head. I will not miss the compression air boots. I will not miss being woken up at midnight or 1am, 5:30, 6:30, 7 every morning. I will not miss that the nurses stand almost right outside my door and talk in loud voices while I'm trying to sleep. I will not miss the not very warm shower. I will not miss that I don't get Bravo, TCM or HBO. I will not miss that I cannot kiss and pet my girls every day (I've only seen them twice in 2 weeks). I will not miss that I haven't slept in the same bed with my husband in 2 weeks.
There are obviously so many more benefits of being home. But it's ironic how quickly I am ok with staying here longer after complaining so much about being stuck here. It no longer feels like a prison sentence, but rather an opportunity to be as close as possible to our son.
I have added new photos of the little one to the blog page. Check him out, he's gorgeous.
Happy news: I got to hold him for the first time today. He is very small, but full of life. We did the skin-to-skin holding so that I would keep him warm. It is also supposed to help with stimulating breast milk for feedings. It felt completely surreal. I think he knows my voice. I already miss him when I'm in my bed and he's in his.
Ironic, I was so looking forward to getting out of here and going home. Now after 14 days, all I want to do is stay. He's only 2 floors below me and I can see him whenever I want. I am going home tomorrow afternoon and won't be able to drive for 2 weeks. With Andy at work from 8-4:30 daily, I will instead be trapped at home instead of trapped in my bed at the hospital. I will miss the excellent nursing care I received while here. I will miss the 3 meals a day at structured times. I will miss the snack cart lady. I will miss being visited by friends and family. I will miss my orange sherbert at any hour of the day. I will miss (and already do) listening to his heartbeat 3 times a day (the best thing about being put on hospital bedrest). I will miss being taken care of and being told to stay put and rest. I will miss the ability having a perfectly temperature controlled hospital room.
There are many things that I will not miss: lack of fresh air (I have only been outside 4 times in the last 2 weeks), I will not miss the sad view I have of the waiting room window and parking garage, I will not miss the lack of knocking and entering. I will not miss the attitude of the lady who drops off and picks up the meal menus. I will not miss the very uncomfortable beds (although I think I will miss the ability to raise and lower my head. I will not miss the compression air boots. I will not miss being woken up at midnight or 1am, 5:30, 6:30, 7 every morning. I will not miss that the nurses stand almost right outside my door and talk in loud voices while I'm trying to sleep. I will not miss the not very warm shower. I will not miss that I don't get Bravo, TCM or HBO. I will not miss that I cannot kiss and pet my girls every day (I've only seen them twice in 2 weeks). I will not miss that I haven't slept in the same bed with my husband in 2 weeks.
There are obviously so many more benefits of being home. But it's ironic how quickly I am ok with staying here longer after complaining so much about being stuck here. It no longer feels like a prison sentence, but rather an opportunity to be as close as possible to our son.
I have added new photos of the little one to the blog page. Check him out, he's gorgeous.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Day 1 of the rest of my life
Alexander Francis Bayles was born at 9:27pm on Wednesday, 12.09.09. He was born at 2 pounds, 13 ounces and 15 inches long. He is perfect and beautiful with all of his fingers and toes. He is already a bit feisty (like his father, and mother?).
I will most likely go home on Saturday, but Alex will stay until February. It's very surreal to have a new baby but not be with him. I know that the two of us will soon have the opportunity to bond.
I would like to thank the doctor who did the C-Section (Dr. Breit, my doctor's partner) for doing subcataneous stitches and not staples. I think my stretch marks may be more noticeable than the stitches will be!
Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, texted, sent cards, sent flowers, sent other gifts, brought gifts, dropped by and those that stayed awhile. You have made this experience so much more bearable with your kindness and thoughtfulness. I cannot thank you enough.
Now the true sacrifices begin. I cannot fathom leaving here without him. I still can't believe that he was in my belly yesterday at this time and today he's laying in a NICU bed. I will truly miss feeling him move (I already do). For right now I just need to sleep and start to heal physically and emotionally from the last 12 or so hours.
God bless my son and my new family of 5 (Andy, me, Alex, Annie and Sadie).
I will most likely go home on Saturday, but Alex will stay until February. It's very surreal to have a new baby but not be with him. I know that the two of us will soon have the opportunity to bond.
I would like to thank the doctor who did the C-Section (Dr. Breit, my doctor's partner) for doing subcataneous stitches and not staples. I think my stretch marks may be more noticeable than the stitches will be!
Thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, texted, sent cards, sent flowers, sent other gifts, brought gifts, dropped by and those that stayed awhile. You have made this experience so much more bearable with your kindness and thoughtfulness. I cannot thank you enough.
Now the true sacrifices begin. I cannot fathom leaving here without him. I still can't believe that he was in my belly yesterday at this time and today he's laying in a NICU bed. I will truly miss feeling him move (I already do). For right now I just need to sleep and start to heal physically and emotionally from the last 12 or so hours.
God bless my son and my new family of 5 (Andy, me, Alex, Annie and Sadie).
Sunday, December 6, 2009
10 days down, 33 to go
Too tired to extrapolate too much on my day. Lots of visitors: Christine and Ella, The Martins, Marcy and James, Erika and Steve and my dual citizenship husband. Phone calls from MDD, Lane and Aunt Nancy. Bells Nickels received as a gift. Wireless mouse received as a gift. Spaghetti, Scrabble Slam and Battle of the Sexes with Andy, Steve and Erika. Vikings and Chiefs lost. Toothache causing my heart to beat in my mouth. Percocet makes me nauseas, hot and dizzy but Tylenol doesn't touch the pain. I juat took a half one to relieve the pain and to hopefully avoid the side effects. I will ask my doctor about seeing a dentist in the morning. MDD called this morning. Issues with CC's hours. He wants to talk more tomorrow. I have no idea what our conversation will be like tomorrow, but not feeling good about a talk with only 3 weeks left to Christmas and I'm hospital bound with a laptop to find figures fast. Christine's Ella put together a puzzle and I revised the schedule to include an 8am start time daily. Andy starts his first day of the new job tomorrow. I have already started Andy withdrawal. I cannot keep my eyes open. This is the first night that I have gone to sleep before midnight.
Goodnight, tinseltoes.
Goodnight, tinseltoes.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
8/42
Today was the 2nd Saturday of hopefully many more Saturdays to come. I was discharged from the 2nd floor this morning at 9. The 2nd floor is called "Labor and Delivery". If at any time they are concerned that you may even have a possibility of having the baby, they send you down to the 2nd floor. Jaclyn has informed me that my last post wasn's specific enough. So, here's the lowdown and each issue/item that led to the 2nd floor:
1. I had small amounts of bleeding throughout the morning and afternoon of Friday.
2. I had cramping (not contractions) for most of the day
3. I didn't feel like myself. My vitals were all fine, but I just didn't "feel" right.
4. I felt an extreme pressure puling on my abdomen
5. I had a Biophysical Profile (BPP) and scored a 6 out of 8. This means that the baby moved well, his heart beat at the right speed, he showed signs of breathing (he had the hiccups) but I did not have the fluid amount that they wanted (they want 8 centimeters). I had 0.59 centimeters.
6. I missed seeing my doctor because I was having my weekly BPP.
7. I asked my nurse to get in contact with her so I could ask about the bleeding and cramping
8. My doctor called me and said that she decided as a precautionary measure to send me down to the 2nd floor for observation.
9. Before I went she explained: they will do a swab to determine if the bleeding is coming from the cervix (most likely no delivery of baby at this point) or the placenta (possible delivery of baby at this point).
So, they took me down to the 2nd floor. I could not initially reach Andy and Liz and I were texting. She responded by coming up here and staying until 7 ish and then went home. Andy got here about 5 minutes after she did.
Well, they did their test (ladies, you know all about the "swab" - not fun) and determined that it wasn't from the cervix. So, they left to let my doctor know and then come back and let us know. Well, we waited for a very long time. An hour I think. We went looking for the nurse to ask if I could go to the bathroom and eat. Yes to the bathroom, wait on the eating. Still no word from the resident. More time passed. We started listening to the Rolling Stones on Andy's phone and I experienced my first "real" contraction". It was a full minute and a half of very helpful Lamaze/Prenatal Yoga breathing. I now understand the difference between Braxton Hicks and a contraction. Well, we made it through that one. Andy coached me through - he's the best. We had another shorter one and then 20 minutes later we had another short one and then no more for the rest of the night.
EVENTUALLY the resident came back into the room to let us know that there was reason for some concern but not for very much concern. I asked her where the blood was coming from, she said I wouldn't call it blood, I'd call it "pink fluid". So, I asked her what does that mean? Well, you're not dilated at all but we're going to keep you overnight on the monitor just to be sure.
I don't know if you can tell, but I wasn't feeling much compassion from this resident. In fact I told her that I didn't mean any disrespect, but she didn't seem very concerned. She said that it was something she saw a lot of. And I told her that this was the first time it had happened to me. She seemed calvalier about it. I prefer the staff on the 4th floor. They know the definition of compassion.
Well, at this point it was around 8:30 and Andy had had 2 parties to attend that night that he was missing. There was nothing more he could do for me, I was eating dinner and watching tv. I was going to be given Ambien to sleep and there was no bed for him. So, I told him he should go to the parties and enjoy himself and get a good night's sleep at home. He went. I ate and then slept for 7 hours straight (minus 1 bathroom trip around 5am). I don't think think I've slept that well since I was in my 1st trimester. I woke up and had no bleeding, the baby was still doing great and they sent me back upstairs.
I am very happy to be back up here.
Ok, Jaclyn, I now understand what you're wanting. Specifics.
Preview: Saturday has been laid back and peaceful with 3 drop-in guests. 2 of which I haven't seen since June 2007. More to come on that later.
Goodnight for now, tinseltoes.
1. I had small amounts of bleeding throughout the morning and afternoon of Friday.
2. I had cramping (not contractions) for most of the day
3. I didn't feel like myself. My vitals were all fine, but I just didn't "feel" right.
4. I felt an extreme pressure puling on my abdomen
5. I had a Biophysical Profile (BPP) and scored a 6 out of 8. This means that the baby moved well, his heart beat at the right speed, he showed signs of breathing (he had the hiccups) but I did not have the fluid amount that they wanted (they want 8 centimeters). I had 0.59 centimeters.
6. I missed seeing my doctor because I was having my weekly BPP.
7. I asked my nurse to get in contact with her so I could ask about the bleeding and cramping
8. My doctor called me and said that she decided as a precautionary measure to send me down to the 2nd floor for observation.
9. Before I went she explained: they will do a swab to determine if the bleeding is coming from the cervix (most likely no delivery of baby at this point) or the placenta (possible delivery of baby at this point).
So, they took me down to the 2nd floor. I could not initially reach Andy and Liz and I were texting. She responded by coming up here and staying until 7 ish and then went home. Andy got here about 5 minutes after she did.
Well, they did their test (ladies, you know all about the "swab" - not fun) and determined that it wasn't from the cervix. So, they left to let my doctor know and then come back and let us know. Well, we waited for a very long time. An hour I think. We went looking for the nurse to ask if I could go to the bathroom and eat. Yes to the bathroom, wait on the eating. Still no word from the resident. More time passed. We started listening to the Rolling Stones on Andy's phone and I experienced my first "real" contraction". It was a full minute and a half of very helpful Lamaze/Prenatal Yoga breathing. I now understand the difference between Braxton Hicks and a contraction. Well, we made it through that one. Andy coached me through - he's the best. We had another shorter one and then 20 minutes later we had another short one and then no more for the rest of the night.
EVENTUALLY the resident came back into the room to let us know that there was reason for some concern but not for very much concern. I asked her where the blood was coming from, she said I wouldn't call it blood, I'd call it "pink fluid". So, I asked her what does that mean? Well, you're not dilated at all but we're going to keep you overnight on the monitor just to be sure.
I don't know if you can tell, but I wasn't feeling much compassion from this resident. In fact I told her that I didn't mean any disrespect, but she didn't seem very concerned. She said that it was something she saw a lot of. And I told her that this was the first time it had happened to me. She seemed calvalier about it. I prefer the staff on the 4th floor. They know the definition of compassion.
Well, at this point it was around 8:30 and Andy had had 2 parties to attend that night that he was missing. There was nothing more he could do for me, I was eating dinner and watching tv. I was going to be given Ambien to sleep and there was no bed for him. So, I told him he should go to the parties and enjoy himself and get a good night's sleep at home. He went. I ate and then slept for 7 hours straight (minus 1 bathroom trip around 5am). I don't think think I've slept that well since I was in my 1st trimester. I woke up and had no bleeding, the baby was still doing great and they sent me back upstairs.
I am very happy to be back up here.
Ok, Jaclyn, I now understand what you're wanting. Specifics.
Preview: Saturday has been laid back and peaceful with 3 drop-in guests. 2 of which I haven't seen since June 2007. More to come on that later.
Goodnight for now, tinseltoes.
6/42 & 7/42
Thursday was an awesome day. I spent the majority of my day with Steve and Andy. Andy brought the girls up to see me. He captured a great photo of the 3 of us. I went outside and breathed the clean air. I sat in the sun and felt the warmth. I felt like a normal person for just a few moments. I enjoyed the company and conversation of many wonderful guests and finished off the night playing a Monopoly card game with Andy.
Friday was a tiring day. Andy stayed until 1 (this is late for him) and then came back at 5:30 and left again after 8. Seeing Andy thoughout the day is what makes this situation any where near bearable.
Tonight I was moved to the Labor and Delivery Room floor due to possible complications. I have been down here since 5:30 and will now sleep here. The benefit is that I will most likely be going back to my room upstairs in the morning. The other benefit is that I get to listen to the baby's heartbeat all night long.
Andy felt him hiccup a few times today. That was pretty cool. I had my first real contraction tonight. Now I understand the difference. And there is a big difference.
I will update all tomorrow when we know more information about tonight's events.
Thank you to Steve for all day yesterday. Thank you to Liz for tonight.
I do not thank you two enough for helping me survive scenarios that could easily disrupt my sense of sanity and balance.
The other benefit is that Andy will sleep on a firm mattress at home with the girls. All 3 will be much happier with this scenario. The girls will wake up feeling protected and Andy will wake up without a back or neck ache (I hope).
I, on the other and, am sleeping in a hospital bed, AGAIN. But, I will sleep easier knowing that my boy and girls are comfy and curled up together.
Good night Mr. Tinseltoes.
Friday was a tiring day. Andy stayed until 1 (this is late for him) and then came back at 5:30 and left again after 8. Seeing Andy thoughout the day is what makes this situation any where near bearable.
Tonight I was moved to the Labor and Delivery Room floor due to possible complications. I have been down here since 5:30 and will now sleep here. The benefit is that I will most likely be going back to my room upstairs in the morning. The other benefit is that I get to listen to the baby's heartbeat all night long.
Andy felt him hiccup a few times today. That was pretty cool. I had my first real contraction tonight. Now I understand the difference. And there is a big difference.
I will update all tomorrow when we know more information about tonight's events.
Thank you to Steve for all day yesterday. Thank you to Liz for tonight.
I do not thank you two enough for helping me survive scenarios that could easily disrupt my sense of sanity and balance.
The other benefit is that Andy will sleep on a firm mattress at home with the girls. All 3 will be much happier with this scenario. The girls will wake up feeling protected and Andy will wake up without a back or neck ache (I hope).
I, on the other and, am sleeping in a hospital bed, AGAIN. But, I will sleep easier knowing that my boy and girls are comfy and curled up together.
Good night Mr. Tinseltoes.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
5/42
I spent almost 8 hours working today. I know I'm not supposed to work more than 6 hours a day. But seriously, I'm going a little bit crazy in here. I did take some time to sit in the chair next to the window and do some work. It's better than always being in the bed staring at the wall. I will admit that I am grumpy today and am on the verge of a crying fit.
I am thinking too much about how tomorrow will be the same as today and Friday will be the same as Thursday and every day will be another Tuesday. I miss my dogs. I miss sitting on the couch and having them on either side of me sleeping. I miss the sunshine and the breeze on my face. I miss being cold in the winter wind. I miss driving my car and using the garage door opener. I miss the excitement of Annie and Sadie when I open the garage door after a long day at work.
I just said a few days ago that I wouldn't be the crazy lady that needed her dog with her in her room. But I'm starting to think that I am the crazy lady who needs her dogs in her room.
Andy took the job and starts Monday. This is of course the right thing to do. This is of course the thing I asked him to please do. Now that he has done it I am in absolute regret of this decision. I already miss him terribly. How awful will it be when I see him less than I do now. How will the girls handle mommy AND daddy being gone all the time?
I feel like I'm beng so selfish. I know that every day I'm in here the better it is for the baby. Andy is here now and I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's time to focus on something and someone else. Overall, not a good night. Tomorrow will be better.
I am thinking too much about how tomorrow will be the same as today and Friday will be the same as Thursday and every day will be another Tuesday. I miss my dogs. I miss sitting on the couch and having them on either side of me sleeping. I miss the sunshine and the breeze on my face. I miss being cold in the winter wind. I miss driving my car and using the garage door opener. I miss the excitement of Annie and Sadie when I open the garage door after a long day at work.
I just said a few days ago that I wouldn't be the crazy lady that needed her dog with her in her room. But I'm starting to think that I am the crazy lady who needs her dogs in her room.
Andy took the job and starts Monday. This is of course the right thing to do. This is of course the thing I asked him to please do. Now that he has done it I am in absolute regret of this decision. I already miss him terribly. How awful will it be when I see him less than I do now. How will the girls handle mommy AND daddy being gone all the time?
I feel like I'm beng so selfish. I know that every day I'm in here the better it is for the baby. Andy is here now and I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's time to focus on something and someone else. Overall, not a good night. Tomorrow will be better.
4/42
Not much to report today. I woke up after pretty much 5 1/2 solid hours and felt pretty rested. I was able to avoid a long conversation with the 1st year resident that chooses 5:30am to come talk to me. This is the worst time to have a conversation. I was last visited around 1 to get my vitals and listen to the baby's heartbeat. Why in the world would I want to be woken up again 4 1/2 hours later? Breakfast comes between 7:15 and 8. If I could sleep straight through from 1 -7:15, I'm looking at 6 hours. 6 hours is heaven when you're pregnant. Especially when you're pregnant in your 3rd trimester and living in a hospital bed. So, this morning, I was able to have a short and sweet conversation with the 1st year resident.
How are you feeling? - he asks me.
Tired. - I say.
Let me feel if your abdomen is sore (he feels).
Have a nice Tuesday. - I say.
Thanks, you too. - he says and leaves the room.
I could completely do without this exchange every morning around 5:30. But alas, I am not in control of this situation. Which if you know me at all, know that I hate not being in control. Que sera, sera.
While I'm on a tirade of what irritates me about this situation, let me discuss the entering of the room. OK, so it's true that I'm doing anything crazy in here to warrant a lot of privacy. However, I could be changing clothes or Andy could be changing clothes. But do people knock before entering? Almost never. Actually what they do is open the door to the point that I look at the mirror on my left to see the door opening and then they knock and come right in. This is extremely annoying. I hope that I will take from this experience the importance of knocking on a door prior to touching it and waiting for the person inside to respond and determine if they want to let me in. Arrgghh, grrrrr.
OK, so my day. Well, I had breakfast at 7:30 and then I was handing the laptop over to Andy to show him the cute photos of Zachary and Caden from my Facebook page, when I apparently knocked over his coffee all over the laptop, the floor and his bed. Just call me Leisa Jo, aka clutz.
After we mopped up the floor with towels, he finally got in touch with the unemployment office and accepted the job offer from the Cruise line (which by the way should be paying him $10,000 more a year), he takes the battery out of the laptop, unplugs it and tells me I can't use it for a few hours. This knowledge absolutely pains me. No internet for a few hours, no work for a few hours? Are you crazy? Do you understand how long a few hours is when you're in my predicament? I'll tell you, it feels like a lifetime. So, a few hours later, he puts the battery back into the laptop, I turn it on and bubkis. This is not good. It's already 10:30 and I have gotten nothing done. It is not good to feel useless, espcially in this place. So, I call IT and they tell me to have the husband bring in the laptop so they can trade out my hard drive. God bless the IT department at D&D. They are awesome. Not just because of this, but because they are always, let me repeat: ALWAYS ready to help when you need it.
So, Andy leaves around 11 with the laptop (my only source to the outside world) and leaves me to my own devices for the remainder of the day. By the way, even if you have internet on your phone, which I do, it does not come close to replacing the laptop. Reading and writing emails is so much more difficult. I tend to find typos after I send a message. If you know me at all, you know that this kills me.
Ok, so now it's after 11 and I have informed my management team that I am without a laptop for the day and cannot open attachments and to call or email with any emergencies. Then I sit here and wonder, what can I really get done today? I tell myself, you are not to turn that tv on until it is dark outside. No rationalizing. The tv is not to be turned on in the daytime unless it's for weather (which is no longer an issue of mine) or to watch a saved show on the DVR (which is no longer an option of mine). So instead I pull out the Murder, She Wrote book I've been reading (it's not anywhere as satisfying as the television show) and attempt to get sucked in.
No such luck, I instead get my lunch at noon, eat it and then drift off to sleep IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. I wake up 2 hours later. Sleeping in the middle of the day may actually be worse on your psyche than watching tv. Hard to tell, but I do not want to turn into the person in the hospital that watches Judge Judy and then naps after her lunch. I am not 74 years old. I am in pretty good physical shape and have a brain. I will not allow myself to get sucked into the void of "hospital living".
OK. Well now it's 2:30 and I check my email messages and respond to some. I then change the sheets on my bed and on Andy's bed and resume reading.
Around dinner time I start experiencing some Braxton Hicks (these are a bit more intense now that there's no buffer between the baby and me - bye bye amniotic fluid). The nurse gives me tylenol for my back pain (I miss my PT with Renae) and 2 benadryl for the "hicks". I turn on the tv (it's now dark outside so it's acceptable to have the tv on). I watch the last hour of "The Christmas Without a Santa Clause". I love these movies. I love the 25 days of Xmas on the Family Channel. This is something that my mom and I used to do. We were very much into watching movies together in her bedroom with the girls and 2 bowls of popcorn.
I digress.
So, after the movie is over, I start to feel rather tired and bloated. Bloated when you're 7 months pregnant feels a lot different than when you're not. Every little change to my abdomen area worries me. It's probably just gas but I start to think about how small he is and what types of surgeries he would have to have if he were born now. Case in point: baby boy testicles don't usually descend until the last 4 weeks of pregnancy. Since I won't make it that far even if I do make it to January 9th, I hate the thought of baby Bayles undergoing anything as invasive as that. So I worry over my upset stomach.
So now I am starting to feel the effects of 2 benadryl and drift off to sleep (AGAIN). I wake up around 9:30 and Dan comes in to check my vitals and is concerned with how tired and flushed I am. He takes my vitals and I am exactly where I should be: 97.2 temp, 116 over 68 and a pulse of 78. Or something akin to those numbers. I guess I'm just tired from the benadryl and the lack of time spent working. I probably only put in 3 hours. Not good.
Andy comes in around 10:45 with all of the items I asked for (it's going to take a small army to get all of my crap out of here when I'm finally discharged) - thank you, Andy. He has the new laptop from IT (I told you they're awesome) and starts to save all of our files to a disc for safe keeping (in case clutzy drops something again and loses all data). He then takes me for a wheelchair ride through the hospital. By the way, the world looks a lot different from the vantage point of a wheelchair. You also feel quite helpless and useless. Not a good feeling, but Andy is quite understanding and takes me around for my sanity. We went into St. Luke's Chapel. We both commented on how we loved the smell of the wood. I made a silent prayer for all 3 of us and we left.
Now Andy snores quietly to my left and I am wide awake after all of my nap taking today. I am very pleased that I have the laptop back and I can put in some serious hours of work tomorrow to make up for my day today. But for now, I will read until I fall asleep, because we now all know that Dr. Tran will be here in less than 4 1/2 hours to ask me how I'm feeling and push around on my abdomen.
Sweet dreams.
How are you feeling? - he asks me.
Tired. - I say.
Let me feel if your abdomen is sore (he feels).
Have a nice Tuesday. - I say.
Thanks, you too. - he says and leaves the room.
I could completely do without this exchange every morning around 5:30. But alas, I am not in control of this situation. Which if you know me at all, know that I hate not being in control. Que sera, sera.
While I'm on a tirade of what irritates me about this situation, let me discuss the entering of the room. OK, so it's true that I'm doing anything crazy in here to warrant a lot of privacy. However, I could be changing clothes or Andy could be changing clothes. But do people knock before entering? Almost never. Actually what they do is open the door to the point that I look at the mirror on my left to see the door opening and then they knock and come right in. This is extremely annoying. I hope that I will take from this experience the importance of knocking on a door prior to touching it and waiting for the person inside to respond and determine if they want to let me in. Arrgghh, grrrrr.
OK, so my day. Well, I had breakfast at 7:30 and then I was handing the laptop over to Andy to show him the cute photos of Zachary and Caden from my Facebook page, when I apparently knocked over his coffee all over the laptop, the floor and his bed. Just call me Leisa Jo, aka clutz.
After we mopped up the floor with towels, he finally got in touch with the unemployment office and accepted the job offer from the Cruise line (which by the way should be paying him $10,000 more a year), he takes the battery out of the laptop, unplugs it and tells me I can't use it for a few hours. This knowledge absolutely pains me. No internet for a few hours, no work for a few hours? Are you crazy? Do you understand how long a few hours is when you're in my predicament? I'll tell you, it feels like a lifetime. So, a few hours later, he puts the battery back into the laptop, I turn it on and bubkis. This is not good. It's already 10:30 and I have gotten nothing done. It is not good to feel useless, espcially in this place. So, I call IT and they tell me to have the husband bring in the laptop so they can trade out my hard drive. God bless the IT department at D&D. They are awesome. Not just because of this, but because they are always, let me repeat: ALWAYS ready to help when you need it.
So, Andy leaves around 11 with the laptop (my only source to the outside world) and leaves me to my own devices for the remainder of the day. By the way, even if you have internet on your phone, which I do, it does not come close to replacing the laptop. Reading and writing emails is so much more difficult. I tend to find typos after I send a message. If you know me at all, you know that this kills me.
Ok, so now it's after 11 and I have informed my management team that I am without a laptop for the day and cannot open attachments and to call or email with any emergencies. Then I sit here and wonder, what can I really get done today? I tell myself, you are not to turn that tv on until it is dark outside. No rationalizing. The tv is not to be turned on in the daytime unless it's for weather (which is no longer an issue of mine) or to watch a saved show on the DVR (which is no longer an option of mine). So instead I pull out the Murder, She Wrote book I've been reading (it's not anywhere as satisfying as the television show) and attempt to get sucked in.
No such luck, I instead get my lunch at noon, eat it and then drift off to sleep IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. I wake up 2 hours later. Sleeping in the middle of the day may actually be worse on your psyche than watching tv. Hard to tell, but I do not want to turn into the person in the hospital that watches Judge Judy and then naps after her lunch. I am not 74 years old. I am in pretty good physical shape and have a brain. I will not allow myself to get sucked into the void of "hospital living".
OK. Well now it's 2:30 and I check my email messages and respond to some. I then change the sheets on my bed and on Andy's bed and resume reading.
Around dinner time I start experiencing some Braxton Hicks (these are a bit more intense now that there's no buffer between the baby and me - bye bye amniotic fluid). The nurse gives me tylenol for my back pain (I miss my PT with Renae) and 2 benadryl for the "hicks". I turn on the tv (it's now dark outside so it's acceptable to have the tv on). I watch the last hour of "The Christmas Without a Santa Clause". I love these movies. I love the 25 days of Xmas on the Family Channel. This is something that my mom and I used to do. We were very much into watching movies together in her bedroom with the girls and 2 bowls of popcorn.
I digress.
So, after the movie is over, I start to feel rather tired and bloated. Bloated when you're 7 months pregnant feels a lot different than when you're not. Every little change to my abdomen area worries me. It's probably just gas but I start to think about how small he is and what types of surgeries he would have to have if he were born now. Case in point: baby boy testicles don't usually descend until the last 4 weeks of pregnancy. Since I won't make it that far even if I do make it to January 9th, I hate the thought of baby Bayles undergoing anything as invasive as that. So I worry over my upset stomach.
So now I am starting to feel the effects of 2 benadryl and drift off to sleep (AGAIN). I wake up around 9:30 and Dan comes in to check my vitals and is concerned with how tired and flushed I am. He takes my vitals and I am exactly where I should be: 97.2 temp, 116 over 68 and a pulse of 78. Or something akin to those numbers. I guess I'm just tired from the benadryl and the lack of time spent working. I probably only put in 3 hours. Not good.
Andy comes in around 10:45 with all of the items I asked for (it's going to take a small army to get all of my crap out of here when I'm finally discharged) - thank you, Andy. He has the new laptop from IT (I told you they're awesome) and starts to save all of our files to a disc for safe keeping (in case clutzy drops something again and loses all data). He then takes me for a wheelchair ride through the hospital. By the way, the world looks a lot different from the vantage point of a wheelchair. You also feel quite helpless and useless. Not a good feeling, but Andy is quite understanding and takes me around for my sanity. We went into St. Luke's Chapel. We both commented on how we loved the smell of the wood. I made a silent prayer for all 3 of us and we left.
Now Andy snores quietly to my left and I am wide awake after all of my nap taking today. I am very pleased that I have the laptop back and I can put in some serious hours of work tomorrow to make up for my day today. But for now, I will read until I fall asleep, because we now all know that Dr. Tran will be here in less than 4 1/2 hours to ask me how I'm feeling and push around on my abdomen.
Sweet dreams.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Day 3/42
Our first Monday in the hospital is ending. My husband is asleep in the bed next to me. We are sleeping in a room like Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore. We each have our own twin bed and I'm pregnant with little Alex. It's surreal living in a hospital room. You really have to learn to live in the moment and not think about tomorrow or the next day. It's difficult to not have something to look forward to in the near future.
I saw my OBGYN today, Dr. Strecker. She and I discussed the time length and the possbility of getting litte Bayles to turn over to avoid a C-Section labor. She said it wasn't an impossible feat. I have been attempting to coax him to turn over. I was also approved for 6 hours of work a day. This is fantastic news as it keeps me from having to apply for FMLA. We do not have the sick time and vacation saved up enough for me to be in the hospital for 6 weeks and then on maternity leave for 6 more. Thank you Dr. Strecker for noting how much work means to me.
I worked from my laptop this morning managing time cards, approving time cards for payroll on Friday and reviewing and answering emails. It's frustrating not being at work with the Customer Care employees, but I know that the management team we have will handle any issues with ease. Any concerns will be addressed in a team fashion and they will escalate any items to me as needed. It's an excellent opportunity to show their strengths as team leaders.
I had an onslaught of lovely visitors today. The first was Heidi a new friend from the Shrine. She came bearing gifts in a recycable brown bag (one of our baby colors). She was dressed up nice for work with a candy cane scarf. One of her gifts was a Cars puzzle that my cousin Zachary put together in mere minutes. Another puzzle sits partially built on a hospital tray table. Andy and I worked on it for almost 30 minutes until giving up for bed.
Next came my Uncle Rick. I did not lose my water from hitting golf balls. Repeat after me, Nikki did not lose her water from hitting golf balls on Thanksgiving day. It was great to see him and I always enjoy hearing his stories of what he's been up to.
In the middle of our visit, one of my employees, Alaina stopped by to drop off some work and take away some work for someone else to do. I like Alaina's energy. She is a very strong and motivated woman. God bless the women I know for their consistent strength and focus.
Next came Traci, Ricky, Caden and Zachary. This was an absolute surprise. They were driving home from Texas and stopped in. I was so very happy to see all 4 of them. Talking with Traci about my situation and listening to her adventures in Texas was a treat. Ricky is such a good father. I knew he would be, It's great to see that it's true. I was able to enjoy watching Caden and Zachary explore the room for something fun to hold their attention. No such luck. It turned out that the reclining chair, the offer of an orange and a Cars puzle were the only 3 things that could. I guess if I were 4 this room would be terribly boring for me too (what am I saying, I'm 36 and struggling with these walls).
Next came Christina and Lane. Talk about strength, motivation and focus. Wow! They brought me a beautiful vase of flowers. Included were some sunflowers (my late mother's favorite). Now they shine beautiful in my 1 room, 1 bath baby room. We discussed many topics including what is most important in life and to keep in mind where we'll be 10 years from now. It was a powerful conversation that made me want to go get coffee with these ladies and discuss more of our weight of the world. Que sera, they had to leave.
Next came my Aunt Leisa bearing dinner from Panera. Woohoo! This was significantly better than the mystery meat I chose from the menu earlier in the day. One thing I truly love about Aunt Leisa is that she paints a picture with her thoughts. I feel a part of her experience as she shares them and can visualize her in these scenarios.
My Aunt Nancy came in a few minutes later with the pants she had bought me in a smaller size. By the way, they fit perfect and I am very pleased with how soft they are. If I weren't 164 pounds and stuck in a hospital room for 6 weeks, I could almost be considered sexy in this nightgown and pants. Almost...
Nancy and Leisa are in it for the long haul they say, and I know that they mean it. My Aunt Nancy is such a treat to be around. She is so soft and loving. Thank you for being you, Aunt Nancy.
After the Aunties left, I took some tylenols for my headache, a 6 from 1-10 and laid back on my bed and thought about my day. I was tired and needed a shower. It felt good to wash off the day. My first Monday in the hospital. As I was getting dressed, I realized that Andy wouldn't be back until after 9. It's Monday night and he has his blue lodge meetings. But low and behold 20 minutes later he came in with the pregnancy books and lotion I asked him to bring. He said tonight's meeting wasn't that important and took off his jacket. God bless my Andy. We played 11 games of boggle while listenting to Drew Brees play a masterful game of football against the Patriots. I barely beat him at it. It seems that this is the only game in which I can outplay my husband. I'm just glad that there is one. He's so smart that it's hard to play games against him. We are both so competitive. We then put together the Cars puzzle and started in on the barn scene puzzle. We snuggled until it was time to take my vitals and give me my antibiotics.
Now he sleeps restlessly next to me while I recount my busy day. I wish that his bed was more comfortable. I worry about his back and his neck. He needs and deserves the best sleep he can get.
I saw my OBGYN today, Dr. Strecker. She and I discussed the time length and the possbility of getting litte Bayles to turn over to avoid a C-Section labor. She said it wasn't an impossible feat. I have been attempting to coax him to turn over. I was also approved for 6 hours of work a day. This is fantastic news as it keeps me from having to apply for FMLA. We do not have the sick time and vacation saved up enough for me to be in the hospital for 6 weeks and then on maternity leave for 6 more. Thank you Dr. Strecker for noting how much work means to me.
I worked from my laptop this morning managing time cards, approving time cards for payroll on Friday and reviewing and answering emails. It's frustrating not being at work with the Customer Care employees, but I know that the management team we have will handle any issues with ease. Any concerns will be addressed in a team fashion and they will escalate any items to me as needed. It's an excellent opportunity to show their strengths as team leaders.
I had an onslaught of lovely visitors today. The first was Heidi a new friend from the Shrine. She came bearing gifts in a recycable brown bag (one of our baby colors). She was dressed up nice for work with a candy cane scarf. One of her gifts was a Cars puzzle that my cousin Zachary put together in mere minutes. Another puzzle sits partially built on a hospital tray table. Andy and I worked on it for almost 30 minutes until giving up for bed.
Next came my Uncle Rick. I did not lose my water from hitting golf balls. Repeat after me, Nikki did not lose her water from hitting golf balls on Thanksgiving day. It was great to see him and I always enjoy hearing his stories of what he's been up to.
In the middle of our visit, one of my employees, Alaina stopped by to drop off some work and take away some work for someone else to do. I like Alaina's energy. She is a very strong and motivated woman. God bless the women I know for their consistent strength and focus.
Next came Traci, Ricky, Caden and Zachary. This was an absolute surprise. They were driving home from Texas and stopped in. I was so very happy to see all 4 of them. Talking with Traci about my situation and listening to her adventures in Texas was a treat. Ricky is such a good father. I knew he would be, It's great to see that it's true. I was able to enjoy watching Caden and Zachary explore the room for something fun to hold their attention. No such luck. It turned out that the reclining chair, the offer of an orange and a Cars puzle were the only 3 things that could. I guess if I were 4 this room would be terribly boring for me too (what am I saying, I'm 36 and struggling with these walls).
Next came Christina and Lane. Talk about strength, motivation and focus. Wow! They brought me a beautiful vase of flowers. Included were some sunflowers (my late mother's favorite). Now they shine beautiful in my 1 room, 1 bath baby room. We discussed many topics including what is most important in life and to keep in mind where we'll be 10 years from now. It was a powerful conversation that made me want to go get coffee with these ladies and discuss more of our weight of the world. Que sera, they had to leave.
Next came my Aunt Leisa bearing dinner from Panera. Woohoo! This was significantly better than the mystery meat I chose from the menu earlier in the day. One thing I truly love about Aunt Leisa is that she paints a picture with her thoughts. I feel a part of her experience as she shares them and can visualize her in these scenarios.
My Aunt Nancy came in a few minutes later with the pants she had bought me in a smaller size. By the way, they fit perfect and I am very pleased with how soft they are. If I weren't 164 pounds and stuck in a hospital room for 6 weeks, I could almost be considered sexy in this nightgown and pants. Almost...
Nancy and Leisa are in it for the long haul they say, and I know that they mean it. My Aunt Nancy is such a treat to be around. She is so soft and loving. Thank you for being you, Aunt Nancy.
After the Aunties left, I took some tylenols for my headache, a 6 from 1-10 and laid back on my bed and thought about my day. I was tired and needed a shower. It felt good to wash off the day. My first Monday in the hospital. As I was getting dressed, I realized that Andy wouldn't be back until after 9. It's Monday night and he has his blue lodge meetings. But low and behold 20 minutes later he came in with the pregnancy books and lotion I asked him to bring. He said tonight's meeting wasn't that important and took off his jacket. God bless my Andy. We played 11 games of boggle while listenting to Drew Brees play a masterful game of football against the Patriots. I barely beat him at it. It seems that this is the only game in which I can outplay my husband. I'm just glad that there is one. He's so smart that it's hard to play games against him. We are both so competitive. We then put together the Cars puzzle and started in on the barn scene puzzle. We snuggled until it was time to take my vitals and give me my antibiotics.
Now he sleeps restlessly next to me while I recount my busy day. I wish that his bed was more comfortable. I worry about his back and his neck. He needs and deserves the best sleep he can get.
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